Sometimes, especially when our world feels chaotic and uncertain, we start to feel that we are powerless. But we can take back our control.

Here are some suggestions to empower yourself:

    1. Empower yourself with a sense of purpose.

Anecdotes from people who have survived great challenges suggest that those who have a purpose outlast the others. Having a purpose to keep on going, a goal, something to aim for is a great motivator and offers a kind of emotional sustenance. So give yourself a goal. A reward to aim for. A reason to keep on keeping on.

 2. Empower yourself by finding a balance.

Therapists often seem to suggest that in order to cope, we must feel positive at all times. It’s all about Positive Mental Attitude. But in truth, it is more realistic and healthier to strive for balance. Positive thinking is important, and motivates us to work towards the things we want. To make them happen. Many believe that in being positive, we can actually attract good things to ourselves. But negative thinking also plays a role if we keep a sense of perspective and don’t allow ourselves to wallow. Seeing the negatives in a given situation can be very useful in helping us to identify the flaws in a plan and see where things could go wrong. From there it’s a simple step to make plans to deal with them.

3. Empower yourself by embracing compassion.

It has been said that if your compassion flows always outward and neglects yourself, it is incomplete. Being kinder to yourself and others, keeping your internal dialogue loving and positive, reduces negative, destructive emotions and vibrations and nurtures wellbeing. Let your inner voice speak to you with love and understanding. Giving to others, always within healthy boundaries, enriches our sense of satisfaction with our lives and allows our spirit to flourish.

 4. Empower yourself with tiny steps and small bites. 

Q: ‘How would you eat a cabbage mountain?’

A: ‘One bite at a time.’

Life’s trials and challenges may build character, but they can also deplete and overwhelm us. To survive intact, or even stronger, it is wise to take it one bite, one step, one thing at a time.

We may feel frustrated and impatient but those tiny steps and little bites add up. By keeping an eye on our ultimate aim, by breaking down a task into small, manageable, achievable steps we can stay focused and able to cope.

 5. Empower yourself by taking ownership of what you can control; let go of everything else.

To be strong, we must accept responsibility for our lives. For our choices and their consequences. But it is destructive to take responsibility for everything.

Some things are beyond us, and that includes the way other people may feel, act or react to us. Manipulators will try to embed a sense of guilt in us by endeavouring to make us responsible for their anger, hurt or behaviour. Tune them out. Get out of your comfort zone and stretch yourself. Get outside and breathe some air. Be in the moment and really look around you. Learn something new and gain a skill. Take charge and be proud!

6. Empower yourself by quieting the need to ‘over-think’ everything.

We need to give the people and things we care about our time, energy and attention. But there’s no need to go to extremes. Over-thinking everything can drive us crazy. Most of what happens around us has very little to do with us, although in our social-media obsessed world, the need to reference ourselves in nearly every situation is a modern habit. If we teach ourselves to take a breath and step back, we are free to reject the habit of potentially anxiety-inducing over-personalization.

7. Empower yourself to eliminate ‘neediness.’

Teach yourself the difference between wanting and needing. We all want to be liked. Problems arise when that want becomes a need. If we become dependent on the opinions and validation of others, we find it difficult to function effectively without them.

Even the strongest of us may want approval. But we don’t need it.

8. Empower yourself to ask for help when necessary.

Being strong doesn’t mean that we have to be a human island. There is strength in weakness. Everyone needs help sometimes. When you do, accept, acknowledge and ask for it.

9. Empower yourself to say no to self-pity.

If we allow ourselves to wallow, lost in a mire of self-pity, our mental energy drains away and we are in danger of sinking into quicksand. By acknowledging our pain, we accept it. Impose a time-limit. Tell yourself that it’s okay to be hurt, angry, disappointed, and to think it through, to learn the lesson it contains. Then take a breath and remind yourself that it is now a part of your past. Write down what you’ve learned, and the ways you can avoid the pitfalls from now on. Wallowing keeps you stuck. Take a step towards your future and reward yourself with something you enjoy.

You can do this!